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wish i knew

i'm lucky
i'm aware
nothing begins with me
or ends

not my favorite avocado meat
spinning, shiny bone
fresh out of it's home (am i this out of control?)

not you
never starting to look
like the always with little
dangling regrets, always has my pain inside it
it's always, most beautiful and dangerous
most truthful
mostly because always is past

apology buried
with the nothing i have always been

nothing
has a blur behind it

i never ignore the white streak
following my heart
where the truth likes to sleep....
at least that's what i wish

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