there is the wasteland to consider

now that I'm done, I'm in the middle, and sick of being with myself the way myself used to be about 6 months ago

I can feel it sucking me from the jaw down to my feet, across my chest, rotting my hands, stealing the gloss away from what is outside my door

the truth is I am afraid of life, as boring as that sounds, afraid of conversations that lead to questions- I have idea what to even say anymore

numb effects of one trying to become what one clearly is not

loser again, is it ok to do that