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never said

as I said.

and seriously now, it seems I look around me and find no friend, no ear. my husband's, but that's different. so I get scared because I love him the most, but I think I forgot to make friends with myself. so I look at myself at age 15 or 50, what is that on my chin? and why does my face look like that when I half-heartedly laugh. no wonder no one will speak to her. and why does she smell like garlic when she doesn't even have the balls to cook with real-live garlic, just the powder. she is not woman enough either. no wonder no one will speak to her.

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