I normally do not work tuesdays, but last tuesday I had a customer who said she communicated with those who have crossed over. I really didn't comment, but then she said she had a message for me from a person whose name started with an "L", and that's my mom. She went on to tell me other private facts, ones I can't share because of their sacred nature. But the one fact that haunts me is that people have always said that when you pass, your heaven can be where you were the most happy, and my mother always wanted to go back to Florida where she spent much of her childhood. The psychic said my mom kept on reciting "sea shells by the seashore". That means to me I was really making contact, and that has had my stomach in knots. my mom by the beach is beautiful.
I decided to watch a black and white movie alone. I love doing that because I love b/w movies, and it makes me feel like my mother is watching with me. Sometimes I'll even ask her questions. And I wonder if my husband will hear me speaking to myself and wonder why. "mom, who's that actor?" sometimes I look around to see if maybe she decides to answer me. from up there. tell me things about this movie no one else would know. because they aren't movie people like us. a few nights ago I fell asleep. and then the darkness came with the fear that likes to rent space inside my heart, the scared piece of it. the smell of fear in my nose and on my tongue. I woke to the acrid air, my lips mumbling. I know it's that damn couch that likes to give me nightmares. falsely lulling me. black and white movie music. until I feel shaky and sick. but I can't tell won't ever tell what happened in that bad bad dream. those are words I don't dare ...
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